B&B 2-in-1 Round 10: Plastic Man vs. Ghost Rider

As Round 10 opens, we've got Batman in a slim lead 5-4 against the blue-eyed Thing. What happens when their new tag team partners show up?

In the black corner... it's Batman and Plastic Man, written by Bob Haney and drawn by Ross Andru and Jack Abel (with a cover by Neal Adams), Brave and the Bold #76, Doom, What Is Thy Shape?

In the orange corner... it's the Thing and Ghost Rider, written by Steve Gerber and drawn by Sal Buscema and Mike Esposito, Marvel Two-in-One #8, Silent Night... Deadly Night!

Yes, one of these is a Christmas issue, and I can't really top Chris Sims' Invincible Super-Review of it, so check that out too! DING DING DING!

The Stars
Batman likes to cruise around in his Batmobile watching car ads on his tiny tv.
An activity interrupted by the evil Molder's criminal activities. After parking his "little Batmobile", he heads into the subway system with the Whirly-Bat, which may or may not be the best of ideas considering that he's soon caught by a train like a deer in the headlights. To add insult to injury, he's rescued by Plastic Man! Batman's patience has its limits even in this era though, and after getting himself gunked up in the Molder's plastic goo once too many times...
You had no choice, Bats? Nothing can save the Molder? No bat-line? Since he swings down from that building right afterwards, maybe you wanted it that way? That's right, if Plastic Man hadn't caught the Molder, Batman would have been a killer. Get Harvey Dent on the phone. +3 bat-points

It's Christmas for the Thing, which means he has to act as Reed Richards' conscience and tell him to stop investigating a newborn star and spend some time with his family. He's the one who instead heads for Arizona where this new Star of Bethlehem seems to be pointing. So of course, he and the guest-starring Ghost Rider just have to dress up as wisemen.
Or in the Rider's case, either as a lich king or an Iron Maiden mascot. Note that Ben is apparently light enough not to break the camel's back. It may all seem a little ridiculous, but the Thing's back to his comfort zone once a fist fight breaks out in the nativity scene. Some sand to the eyes, "It's clobberin' time", bad guy is knocked back into a mountain with a loud "KRUNCH" for some reason, and all is well. God bless us, everyone! +8 points

The Guests
Plastic Man shows up in Act 2 to save Batman's bacon by rubber banding a train back on its tracks and follows that up by unnecessarily slapping Batman silly:
Turns out that was to stop him from getting aboard his Whirly-Bat, which had been tied to a live wire. Gee, Plas, you couldn't just have told him? Getting hit by a rubber band really smarts too. With a character like this, half the fun is seeing what shapes he'll take, and there's some good stuff here: Plastic Man's idea of patrolling Gotham is to have a policeman carry him around as a stop sign; he does a weird cobra thing with his neck; his hand can turn into a neat prison (picture posted right next to the Farewell, below); and the Molder turns him into a giant tarp that covers the city. He can also take a LOT of damage:
Not particularly funny, but he tries, so this isn't Haney's grim Plastic Man I've heard about. +8 bat-points

Johnny Blaze hasn't been the Ghost Rider for long, it seems, since Ben knows him better as a famous stuntman, but he's already getting into the Spirit of Vengeance thing:
Aside from trading his motorbike for a camel and the sheer power of heavy metal, this issue marks Ghost Rider's well-documented (well, the ISB talks about it) "semitic types" and "camel jockey" slurs and "loco weed" comment. Kids: Say no to drugs. And racism. And Satan. Cuz you know what? If you're into that stuff, there ain't no room at the inn.
Even the Goat Inn. Symbol of the Dark One though it may be. +5 points

The Villains
Over in B&B, we've got the Molder, a lunatic who wants to herald the Plastic Age by covering the world in plastic. A visit to any landfill might have prevented a life of crime, but that's his motivation. Guy's a scientist who shoots plastic from... well, from everywhere:
He controls plastic too, has plastic goons called Plastoids, can turn his plastic cape into tentacles, and of course, can turn his plastic cars into other vehicles (so your Hyundai might become a roomy van, for example). Though the plastic angle might've been interesting enough for him to return one day, I'm not aware that it ever happened. Seems like Ralph Dibny stole the name for one issue of the Flash and that's all she wrote. +7 bat-points

In 2-in-1, Miracle Man's our guy. Before he became Scourge-fodder, this guy tried to be an A-list villain. After all, dude had the power to "do anything". So how did the A-list slip through his fingers? His plot this time around is to turn an Indian reservation into Bethlehem to reenact the birth of Christ on Christmas Eve. Since he created the event, then it goes to reason that he is now God and immortal. Of course! It's so simple! And the reason I know all this is that Miracle Man tells Ben: "I loathe you! And for that reason... I must tell you!" Umm... ok. So what do you do when a team-up interferes with your holy work? Why, turn the manger's animals into monsters, of course!
And make those animals propaganda machines that can lay on the smack talk on your behalf. When it all turns awry, Miracle shows just how evil he is by burning down Bethlehem! While the baby Jesus is sitting in straw. It's all about the rocky fist to the jaw after that. +7 points

Odds vs. Ends
From Brave and the Bold:
"Doom, What Is Thy Shape?" In what way did this story deserve the Shakespeare treatment? -1 bat-point
Gothamites seem to be especially obsessed with publicity. First they reason that the Plastoids must be a publicity stunt.
And then, when they see Batman trapped in plastic in the tunnel ahead of them (how they can see this from any vantage point inside the train is a mystery), this time they think it's a new subway ad.
A new subway add THAT YOU WILL RAM INTO! But nothing much panics these people by now. Unless it's the Noid. -1 bat-point
The story also loses points for an incredibly lazy deus ex machina (or two). After Plastic Man's been turned into a giant tarp, the GCPD start firing on him with a bazooka they had lying around, which rips off his head, sending it hurtling by coincidence into the Molder's secret lab! There, it's just a matter of Plas drinking some "memory plastic" that allows to take control of his body again once the Plastoids screw up and send him back to the tarp. -3 bat-points

From Marvel Two-in-One:
How do the FF celebrate Christmas? Apparently by inviting that damned Wundarr to play with Franklin's toys, but since he's got no dialogue, I won't penalize the story. Reed's gift to the family is to turn the tree into a fireworks display:
Remind me not to hit that pinata at the Baxter Building Cinco de Mayo celebrations. +1 point
It occurs to me that Buscema used the exact same stageing for the last two finishing moves.
I guess you wouldn't notice when you read 2-in-1 every two months, but you can't hide anything from us back-to-back like this. -1 point
Next issue: "Kung Fu action as you've never seen it before - and may never want to again - is one of the most-requested team-up sagas of all! Join us in sixty days from now and witness - the Thing and Iron Fist!" NOT!!!!!!! 2-in-1 #9 features Thor instead. So what happened? The Kung Fu fad faded in January of 1975? -1 point

Farewells and Scoring
Plastic Man's behind-the-back handshake makes Batman chuckle in his Friendly Farewell, but we're left with a less-than-subtle commercial for Plastic Man's new series.
Maybe those Gothamites were right after all... +2 bat-points

Ghost Rider's Unfriendly Farewell to the Thing is polite, but abrubt. "Yeah, yeah... I'd stick around but I gotta wash my hair."
Merry Christmas, y'all. +1 point

And the judges render their verdict: Ghost Rider's Yuletide cheer trumps Plastic Man's commercial savvy 20-15! This ties things up once again (5-5), which no doubt makes the baby Jesus cry. Everything does, really.

This has been a part of your Easter Weekend, brought to you by... McDonald's, the Catholic Chuch, and the letter J.

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